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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
This one in particuliar that cracks me up.....

Dear Ann Landers,

I have two brothers, one works for an air conditioning company, and the other was just sentenced to the electric chair for murder. My mother died in an insane asylum when I was three years old. My two sisters are prostitutes, my father sells narcotics to high school students. Recently I met a girl and I want to marry her.

My problem is: If I marry this girl, should I tell her one of my brothers is in the air conditioning industry ?

Author Unknown

Here's another great one that will even make an HVAC curmudgeon laugh.

Explaining to an insurance company how ups and downs on the job caused the accident.

I am writing in response to your request for additional information:
In block #746 on your accident form I wrote, " Trying to do the job alone " as the major cause of my accident.

You said in your letter that you needed a more detailed report, and I trust the following will be sufficient.

I am an air conditioning and heating service person by trade. On the date of the accident I was working alone on the roof, in the summer, in Las Vegas. It was around 140 degrees Fahrenheit on this roof.

When I completed my work, I found that I still had about 500 pounds of tools on the roof. Rather than carry these tools down by hand, I decided to lower them from the roof in a barrel by rope and pulleys.

Securing the rope at ground level, I then went up to the roof and swung the barrel out and loaded the tools into the barrel. I then went down to ground level and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow decent of the 500 pounds of tools. You will note that in block #748 of the accident report that I weigh 195 pounds. You can imagine my surprise when I was suddenly jerked off the ground, lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.

Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather alarming rate up the side of the building. About half way up I met the barrel coming down the side of the building. This will explain the fractured skull and broken Collarbone. Slowed only slightly I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until my knuckles on my right hand were buried 2 inches deep into the pulley.

Fortunately by this time I regained my presence of mind and was able to hold on to the rope in spite of the pain. At approximately the same time the barrel hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel, dumping the tools into a pile on the ground. With the barrel now empty, and again I refer you to the block #748 on my weight. I began a rapid descent down the side of the building.

Again about half way down I met the barrel coming up. This will explain the two fractured ankles and lacerations on my legs. When I hit the barrel it slowed me down enough, so that when I fell on the tools, I only sustained three broken vertebrae in my back.
I am sorry to report that as I lay on the ground in pain, I again lost my presence of mind and let go of the rope. The barrel came down and broke my hip.

I hope that this is sufficient information for the insurance company.

Author Unknown
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